The night of excitement. The night of anxiety. The night of the last day of summer. The only one thing that you repeat in your mind " my first school day tomorrow".
Actually I don't know what you think before going to school on your first day after Summer. But I think almost every of us have these feelings.
Why I decided to write this post? No, I'm not going to a new school. Actually I decided to write a post because I'm sick at heart now. And I don't know why. Its weird .
When I came from post office I was thinking about school, about my feelings , about new people.
" Did I do it right?", " Did I say it right", " Why I can't control my feelings?", " Why I can't control myself?", " Am I sincere?" , " Am I fake?" . Why I can't be more open to people? Why I can't be more confident? Because I am shy.
Yeah I'm shy. Some of my friends said me that it's cute part of me. But it's hard. It's hard to meet with new people. It's hard to start a new conversation because you think you're boring. It's hard to say something because you have a fear. And because of the shyness you have awkward moments. And its happening over and over again. Is that cute ? I don't think so.
No , don't think that I'm hiding in my hoodie. But I can not be so open and confident.
When I came from post office I was sick of myself. I did not understand what I did with myself. I can't communicate with people just because I don't know what to say. Be interested in everything: science , travel, arts , religion, health, sport ,music, films, books just everything. No, it's not for other people it's FOR YOU . Just because you completely change your mind!
It's hard to day something because I have a fear. Yeah , but if you'll say something wrong in class. So what's then? What will be ?Nothing. It's only a mistake. Everyone has mistakes. Or if you say something wrong in people. So what's then ? Just can laugh at yourself. Just everyone could be in your shoes .
So I have to stop all of this. I have to stop the shyness.
It was just a little ( no its not) letter to me from myself. And , guys, maybe it helps to you.
thank you! x